goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
