I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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