"it" just moved
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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