doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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