yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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