I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
