he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I FOUND THE LEGS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
