do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
