Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
