You just made me feel so damn special
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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