forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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