I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
