Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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