i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
