Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
