so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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