I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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