i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
