Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ok first of all what the fuck
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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