True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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