i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
