Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
