Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
