Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
