Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
