He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The air was thick with penises
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
