Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
