dude i'm inner monologue high
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
