We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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