I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
