so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
