do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
