some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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