There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
