I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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