paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i love accidental penises.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
