Your mouth is God's brothel.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
