last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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