I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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