I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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