A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
