i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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