If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
