why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
