She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Barsexuality is the new black.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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