I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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