I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
