they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
do herpes really smell.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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