He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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