so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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