Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
