Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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