i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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