Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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